= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
9:11 AM EST Saturday February 23, 2008
BehindTheCurtain: Hello Prime Minister
BehindTheCurtain: Good to hear from you
SupremeLeader: How is life at your "undisclosed location?"
SupremeLeader: I hear Tahiti is nice at this time of year
BehindTheCurtain: How did you know where I am?
SupremeLeader: We both know more than we discuss
BehindTheCurtain: True,.. true...
SupremeLeader: So how is work?
BehindTheCurtain: Well, Bush is on vacation in Texas so I am on duty
SupremeLeader: What does that mean?
BehindTheCurtain: Well, essentially I am doing the work of one-and-a-half men
SupremeLeader: Ha, ha - American joke
BehindTheCurtain: So what's on your mind?
SupremeLeader: I got a call from Obama
SupremeLeader: He wants to just chat and get to know me
BehindTheCurtain: He is trying to show the US media he is up-to-speed internationally
SupremeLeader: I see
SupremeLeader: So, should I take the meeting with him?
BehindTheCurtain: I don't see why not
BehindTheCurtain: Now, please understand that Obama is an interesting character
BehindTheCurtain: Communicating with him often requires drama
SupremeLeader: How can I demonstrate this "drama"?
BehindTheCurtain: It's not difficult - but I am sure you will figure it out
SupremeLeader: Can you please tell me?
BehindTheCurtain: I'm pressed for time - and you are a smart man.
SupremeLeader: Even a smart man appreciates assistance...
BehindTheCurtain: Well, we could make a deal
SupremeLeader: What type of deal?
BehindTheCurtain: I tell you how to work with Obama and...
BehindTheCurtain: You give Halliburton the contract on a couple power plants
SupremeLeader: That is easy - consider it done!
BehindTheCurtain: Wonderful!
BehindTheCurtain: So, with Obama you must demonstrate power AND respect
SupremeLeader: I see
BehindTheCurtain: But demonstrating YOUR authority is most important
SupremeLeader: Of course
BehindTheCurtain: HOW you do that is important
BehindTheCurtain: You MUST do it in a way Obama understands
SupremeLeader: I follow you
BehindTheCurtain: There is a simple term used in his state
SupremeLeader: Chicago?
BehindTheCurtain: Close - actually it's Illinois
SupremeLeader: Sorry for the error
SupremeLeader: Our spy satellite photos don't have names of places or boundary lines on them
SupremeLeader: It's a real pisser.
BehindTheCurtain: I can understand that
SupremeLeader: Rand McNally does such a good job.
SupremeLeader: I interrupt KGB presentations to ask "What the hell are we looking at?"
SupremeLeader: Buildings, trees, streets, - the damn pictures could be anyplace!
SupremeLeader: We need names of streets, cities and locations of highway rest-stops
BehindTheCurtain: That's clearly a frustrating situation
SupremeLeader: You have no idea
SupremeLeader: I cleverly stole a Hertz map on a trip to Disneyworld with my family
SupremeLeader: I told the KGB intelligence chief - "JUST MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THIS."
BehindTheCurtain: You are quite wise and commanding
BehindTheCurtain: I fully appreciate your leadership style
SupremeLeader: Thank you very much!
BehindTheCurtain: Our CIA had the same problem
BehindTheCurtain: We have essentially shut down our spy satellite fleet
SupremeLeader: What?
BehindTheCurtain: Google maps is much better for this purpose
BehindTheCurtain: We have outsourced the entire surveillance program to them
SupremeLeader: Very interesting...
SupremeLeader: We will look into that immediately
SupremeLeader: Thanks for the tip
BehindTheCurtain: The secret website is: www.realtor.com
BehindTheCurtain: Ender the address and click "aerial view"
SupremeLeader: This will save me billions!
BehindTheCurtain: Glad to help a friend
SupremeLeader: So, back to Obama...
BehindTheCurtain: Right - There is a phase used in Illinois
BehindTheCurtain: Invoking it at the right moment should do the trick
SupremeLeader: What is this phrase?
BehindTheCurtain: "Duuuusshe Bahhhg!"
SupremeLeader: How is it used in a sentence?
BehindTheCurtain: All by itself - with appropriate tone of voice
BehindTheCurtain: HOW you act when you say it is important
SupremeLeader: What is the protocol?
BehindTheCurtain: When a key question comes up, just do the following
SupremeLeader: I am taking notes...
BehindTheCurtain: First, rub your eyes and exhale deeply
BehindTheCurtain: Then stand up
BehindTheCurtain: Point at Obama with a stern look on your face
BehindTheCurtain: Loudly say "Duuuusshe Bahhhg!" and slam you hand on the table
BehindTheCurtain: Then wait for his reaction
SupremeLeader: Just like that?
BehindTheCurtain: Yep
SupremeLeader: Thank you for the gracious help!
SupremeLeader: We will be faxing the contracts to Halliburton immediately
BehindTheCurtain: Anytime
SupremeLeader: Bye for now
BehindTheCurtain: Bye
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
0 comments:
Post a Comment