March 10: Hannity and Colmes Plan Ahead

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9:17 AM EST Monday March 10, 2008

I'mRightI'mHannity: Alan?

ColmesFox: Hey Sean

I'mRightI'mHannity: Have you seen the calendar?

ColmesFox: Yeah, I know, I know...
ColmesFox: After Mississippi, we're screwed for election results until April 22nd

I'mRightI'mHannity: Who the heck planned this?

ColmesFox: The political parties did

I'mRightI'mHannity: There ya' go...
I'mRightI'mHannity: What are we gonna do?

ColmesFox: Well,... there is the matter of the Virgin Islands on April 5th

I'mRightI'mHannity: So?

ColmesFox: I have an idea
ColmesFox: We do the show LIVE from the Virgin Islands

I'mRightI'mHannity: C'mon, Alan - Fox would never set-up our whole show in the Virgin Islands for one night of election returns

ColmesFox: You are correct - but that's not my idea

I'mRightI'mHannity: Elaborate for me

ColmesFox: The last of the pundits will rehash the Mississippi results Wednesday
ColmesFox: The viewers will THEN be tortured with hours of daily BS about Super Delegates and Pennsylvania
ColmesFox: Fox will EXPECT US to be part of that!

I'mRightI'mHannity: It's going to be just brutal on our ratings
I'mRightI'mHannity: People will watch Jeopardy instead...
I'mRightI'mHannity: You know, I have always thought Alex Trebeck is a Canadian socialist pig

ColmesFox: Stay with me, Sean

I'mRightI'mHannity: Sorry

ColmesFox: That's why we do something really special

I'mRightI'mHannity: Alan, if it's a good idea, I'm in

ColmesFox: O.k., we go to the Virgin Islands Wednesday and set-up the studio
ColmesFox: Starting Thursday we do the show as a "LIVE Virgin Islands Countdown" every day until the primary on April 5th

I'mRightI'mHannity: What about our Wednesday show?

ColmesFox: Greta can cover for us with one of her random college co-ed disappearance stories

I'mRightI'mHannity: But viewers would be expecting Mississippi election analysis

ColmesFox: Honestly, Sean - what's the difference?

I'mRightI'mHannity: Good point
I'mRightI'mHannity: Let's get back to your plan...

ColmesFox: Right. So, we grab viewer interest with clever teasers
ColmesFox: For example, "The Democratic race is so close, The Virgins could be the difference"
ColmesFox: "Obama vs. Clinton - Who's leading with Virgins?"
ColmesFox: "Who will carry the vote with Billionaire tax-cheat expatriots?"

I'mRightI'mHannity: Alan, this is simply brilliant!

ColmesFox: Can you see Dick Morris in a casual flowers shirt pontificating while sipping a tropical drink with an umbrella in it?

I'mRightI'mHannity: Not only can I picture that - I am getting thirsty myself!

ColmesFox: On top of it, we NEED and DESERVE a vacation

I'mRightI'mHannity: For once I agree with you 100%

ColmesFox: In my book, screwing off for a week should be a non-partisan effort!

I'mRightI'mHannity: Let the countdown begin!

ColmesFox: I have only 1 request...

I'mRightI'mHannity: What is it?

ColmesFox: No O'Reilly

I'mRightI'mHannity: Why?

ColmesFox: We don't want - and don't need - him doing No-Spin-Zone remotes with vacationers on those effing cruise ships

I'mRightI'mHannity: That's a valid concern

ColmesFox: And if Bill shows up, Covuto will want to show up and if Covuto shows up Greta will want to be there and and work-up some weird Aruba - Virgin Islands connection.

I'mRightI'mHannity: Calm down - I gotcha

ColmesFox: The only valid tag-along on our deal is Brit Hume. After all, he IS the Fox political reporter.

I'mRightI'mHannity: Totally agree with you

ColmesFox: I'll call the boss at 9:30 and pitch the concept

I'mRightI'mHannity: I'll call him at 9:45 and back you up

ColmesFox: Perfect!
ColmesFox: Wish me luck!

I'mRightI'mHannity: Good luck buddy!

ColmesFox: Did you just call me "buddy"?

I'mRightI'mHannity: Uhh,... yeah

ColmesFox: I am beginning to think that deep down, you care

I'mRightI'mHannity: I do Alan. We just disagree on some things.

ColmesFox: No argument

I'mRightI'mHannity: Now go close the deal!

ColmesFox: I'm on it!

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